Nancy Reddy is a writer and writing teacher who recently sold her first book, “The Good Mother Myth”, and subsequently tacked on a few more summer camps for her two sons (8 and 10) to get the writing done.
Tell me about your family. Where do you live? How many kids do you have?
My husband and I have two kids, boys who are 8 and almost 10. We live in New Jersey, in a great walkable town just outside Philadelphia.
Who are you other than a mom? What do you do for work, what do you do for pleasure?
I’m a writer and a writing teacher. I’m a poet and an academic, and I just sold my first nonfiction book, The Good Mother Myth, to St. Martin’s. I’m a professor in the writing program at Stockton University, where I teach first year writing, first year seminars, and an assortment of other writing classes. (I’ve been on sabbatical this year, which has been joyous and productive and fun, and I’ll be back to teaching on campus in the fall.) I also teach community writing workshops, and I write a newsletter, Write More, Be Less Careful.
My life is really focused on my writing right now, which feels both like work and pleasure. A lot of what I do that isn’t strictly writing is designed to support my writing practice. I’ve learned that my brain works a lot better with a fair amount of exercise, so I plan for that. I read a ton.
As our kids have gotten older, it’s gotten easier (though not less expensive! we still need a babysitter) for my husband and I to get out without them, and that’s been really fun. My optimal night is a couple friends on the back deck, good beer, and talking for hours.
Do you currently have regular childcare? If so, what does it look like?
As of *this minute* my kids are in school, but they’ll be out so soon!
In the summer, we’re doing a wild mishmash of very cheap, very part-time camps run by the rec department in our borough, expensive full-day camps, and a two week sleepaway camp. And there are a couple weeks in there where we’re just going to let Roblox handle our parenting and hope for the best.
What about it is working, and what isn’t?
I like the flexibility of the summer, and I like the kids having a mix of planned activities and downtime. One thing I’ve learned about myself, especially during the early pandemic, is that I’m not an activity mom. I’m not going to look up cute crafts or science experiments on pinterest. I love taking my kids places–there’s a high speed train that goes into center city Philadelphia from here, and we like to ride the train, get some ice cream, look at dogs, and we’ll do museums, especially if we can get the free pass from our library–but I’m not planning Camp Mom when we’re home. One thing that makes our schedule work is that we’ve made our peace with our kids playing tons of video games.
I do get stressed, though, about trying to work when they’re home. When I sold my book, just about the first thing I did was book the kids for another week and a half of full-day camp.
How much is it costing you every month?
I had to look this up, because paying for childcare is still so expensive that I blank out the actual details. At the low end, the rec camp is $60/week (but runs from 9.30-11.30am, Monday through Thursday!) and sleepaway camp is $2000 for the two weeks. (Yikes! We reserve it in October and pay for it on an installment plan until June.) The full day camp costs $400/week, which is expensive but for sure not the most expensive option around here.
What childcare model did you grow up with? Did this inform your own decisions around childcare?
I grew up with a working mom, in a time and place, suburban Pittsburgh in the 80s and 90s, where that felt really rare. In the school year, my sister and I had a lot of cobbled-together care–after school programs, an assortment of babysitters that we shared with our cousins. As a single mom, my mom worked really long hours, with a substantial commute, and I’ve thought a lot since becoming a parent about how stressful that must have been for her. And she’s shared she’d have moments where she was stuck in horrible traffic in her little Saturn, like counting down the minutes until she was going to be late for daycare and start having to pay the penalties! My aunt lived nearby, and when we were little, she’d take us one night a week so my mom could work late.
Because I grew up with a mom who took her work really seriously, and who also always really showed up for me and my sister, it gave me this confidence that I’d be able to combine motherhood and work. I really appreciate that.
What would your ideal work & childcare arrangement look like?
Honestly, at this moment, we’re in a great spot. Since my husband works from home, one or both of us are always at home. We’re generally working, but we’re available from a safety and/or snacks perspective after school. We live in a town that’s super walkable, so sometimes we end up picking up a kid as we’re walking home from school, or one of my kids will go home with someone else for an impromptu playdate. (Should I be saying “hang” now that they’re approaching tween years?) But it’s that combination of things–two parents working at home, sidewalks and walkability–that are both rare and lucky.
Oh man, we are in the cobbled-together summertime care right now, and all I have to say is: half-day camps...WHY??? By the time I drop her off, it's practically time to go pick her up. This is my first year where my oldest is out of year-round daycare, and the whole thing is so stressful and expensive. I'm thinking about driving my six-year-old three hours south and dropping her off my childless brother's house for a week. He won't mind, right? Anyway, the childcare topic is so huge and fraught, and I'm very lucky we have money for camps at all, half-day and otherwise.