Maternal Landscape, Sarah Mattes
Tell me about your family.
My family is my husband, me and our 4-year-old identical twin daughters. We currently live in Miami, FL. We are a bilingual household speaking both Spanish and English at home. My husband and I are both artists and he is also a professor of animation and drawing at the university here.
Who are you other than a mom? What do you do for work, what do you do for pleasure?
Other than being a mom I am an artist. I make paintings and drawings that I exhibit in gallery spaces, and I also do illustration and design work on a freelance basis. I love to draw and try to do so as much as possible, so that definitely spans from work to pleasure. Otherwise I love to do anything that involves being outside. The weather is pretty lovely here, and I don’t mind sweating. I go for walks and draw outside, wandering around with the hope of encountering wild animals and the overgrowth of flora this tropical climate has to offer. In addition to that I try to do some exercise, meditate and have recently taken up drums which I am loving!
Do you currently have regular childcare?
My twins started going to a sweet, small PreK about a year ago. They go 3 days a week from 9:15 - 2:15. On one of the mornings when they don’t go to school we go to a homeschool coop together at a farm in the Redlands, which is the rural area south of Miami. On the days they don’t go to school (and sometimes even the afternoons when they do), they usually go to their grandparents houses. We are really lucky to have both sets of grandparents a few blocks away and they are super involved and supportive. It’s a pretty ‘old school’ model in that ever since they were born we had the ‘family as a village’ system of childcare. We have a fairly regular routine with childcare due to our family support and even if something wasn’t scheduled I can usually call one of the grandparents last minute and they are eager to help. The grandparents care for them but they also really nurture their education and the girls have a setup in each house like a little kindergarten! I realize this is such a gift and I am thankful for it on an hourly basis!
How did you handle childcare before preschool?
They would basically alternate between the grandparents’ homes each afternoon. My husband and I both worked from home on a freelance basis until they turned 4 so in the mornings we would do a family activity together and then drop them off at the grandparents’ after lunch and work in the afternoon and then at night when they would go to bed.
What childcare model did you grow up with? Did this inform your own decisions around childcare?
I’m an only child but my mom has 6 and my dad has 2 siblings so I always grew up around a large extended family. I grew up in New Jersey and my whole extended family lived close by. My grandparents were a big part of my life - and my 99-year-old grandmother and I still chat on the phone regularly! Other than family time I went to a little elementary school, the YMCA for classes and soccer. My husband and I are close with our families, so it was important for us to continue that kind of familial model with our children. Our kids love it, and it feels nice to know our kids are being cared for in a really loving way.
Have you looked to other mothers as a guide when making these decisions?
I have a nice group of moms that I’m friends with here, and can compare notes, vent, and celebrate with, which is nice. The moms I look to the most are my own mom and my mother-in-law. They are really supportive and non-judgemental which has made this transition into the wild world of motherhood so much easier for me. From the beginning they were both on deck to support in any way they could. I’ve also met a few twin moms which has been great. As a mother of multiples I found that a lot of the advice that applies to most parents just doesn’t work and isn’t that applicable with twins!
What would your ideal work & childcare arrangement look like?
Now that my girls are nearing elementary age we’ve been thinking about this a lot. My ideal childcare situation would be a kind of hybrid between home/family and an educational learning pod. I envision all of these creative parents with different skills and professions creating a school in which the small group of kids (10?) basically go to a different home each day and learn from a different parent of the pod. So basically a home school but with a community. We’ve found one small elementary school here where we like the vibe, but honestly we’re also considering just getting a winnebago and homeschooling on the road! A great aspect of twins is that they have a best friend and playmate all the time and they have very active and creative play because they are so ‘on the same page’. I mention this because as an only child I couldn’t wait to get to school and be around kids, but my kids don’t crave that quite as much, so that leaves us a little more flexibility with educational systems.
What's one thing you'd definitely get done if you had just one more hour of childcare?
I would say sleep but I’d be lying! Just like my kids I’m not the best at powering down and would probably just be in the studio one more hour tinkering!
Is there one caregiver in particular that has meant a lot to your family?
My mom has played a big part in helping raise my kids, and also a huge support for me in my journey of motherhood. She’s always been a role model for me but now that I’m a mom it’s taken on a completely new level. Getting to be with her (and my dad too!) so often and seeing her with my kids has been such a special gift. It’s almost like I get to watch how she was with me as a child again, and use her reactions and methods to my children as a guide for how to parent. Sometimes my kids will do something that I might feel insecure about and the way she responds to them with ease and humor is a great reminder for me to loosen up and enjoy the moment. There’s so much parenting advice out there but I really lean on her love and reassurance to guide me. She and my dad have taught me my whole life to be strong and kind, so in a way they have been preparing me for this moment all along!
You can find more of Sarah’s art at sarahmattesstudio.com.
Editor’s Note: I recently started another Substack called Coffee Island, featuring my own writing, much of which may cover motherhood and childcare in subtle and not-so-subtle ways! Follow along if you’d like.
Hi Meredith! I greatly appreciated this interview (and the series, in general). This line stuck out to me: "We are really lucky to have both sets of grandparents a few blocks away and they are super involved and supportive." My parents (my children's grandparents) both work full-time still, and don't have much time to help us with childcare, aside from 1x month or so for a date night. It is partly a cultural choice on their end, and partly that they still work. While they love our kids dearly, it has at times been a source of frustration for me a a mom/doctoral student who wishes they could help out more. However, it's been part of my journey coming to accept that my parents have different strengths and have made different choices than I might make a grandparent, but I still get envious of families who have active grandparents involved in their family's childcare plan.
always love to hear about another twin mom artist <3 sarah's work is beautiful!