Tell me about your family. Where do you live? How many kids do you have?
I have three kids, six, four and ten months. We live in center city Philadelphia.
Who are you other than a mom? What do you do for work, what do you do for pleasure?
I’m an author. I have a new book called The Sicilian Inheritance coming out in April. I also recently launched my own podcast network with my flagship podcast Under the Influence.
For fun I do a lot of reading which is also partly work for me. I hike, I do some half ass yoga. Oh I also recently started a Substack newsletter called Over the Influence.
Do you currently have regular childcare? If so, what does it look like?
I have a lot of childcare. I have someone helping with the kids about 35 hours a week. My husband or I get up at 6:30 or 7 and get both big kids ready and one of us takes them to school while the other watches the baby. Our caregiver comes around 9 and then usually picks one of the kids up from school. Nick or I get the other kid.
We have help until about 4:30 most days but two days a week we only have help until two and then we take over. My mom also lives about 45 minutes away and usually takes the big kids for one night a weekend for a sleepover which is a major luxury.
What about it is working, and what isn’t?
The days where our caregiver leaves at 2 are rough because it falls mostly on me for the remainder of the afternoon so I am juggling two pickups and a baby nap and I don’t do any work in that afternoon, but our caregiver went back to school and we want to accommodate her schedule.
Three kids is a LOT of kids, at least for me. And I recognize they are hard to handle as a group. We attempt as much as possible to make sure no one adult has all three of them for an extended period of time. This naturally cuts into the hours I can work. But I have to say I also appreciate the flexibility I have right now to get to spend a lot more time with my kids than if I were going into an office every single day until 6 pm. Right now this is all working out. But the world and my industry is constantly changing so I have a constant anxiety over what even the next six months will hold.
How much is it costing you every month?
More than my mortgage.
What childcare model did you grow up with? Did this inform your own decisions around childcare?
I went to aftercare after school every day until 5:30 or 6. It felt like school so I didn’t hate it and I didn’t know any different but I also had the kind of parents who were always late and I was the last one there so I internalized that and really felt like shit and vowed not to do it to my kid.
What would your ideal work & childcare arrangement look like?
I would love to have more flexible childcare until 5 pm every day of the week. But right now we honestly do have a lot of flexibility and help so I can’t complain too much. Things get crazy when my husband goes out of town once a month for work but other than that I feel pretty good about it.
What's one thing you'd definitely get done if you had just one more hour of childcare?
I am not going to lie. I am efficient as fuck. I make a to do list and I get it done, including going to the gym every day. If we had more childcare in the evening I would like to do more things solo with my husband. That’s probably a good idea for the old marriage.